co ordination

hello non existent readers  its nice to see you again,I’m sorry if I seem out of it in this post I cant do anything but stare at my computer screen in awe as the views and likes accumulate. I thought id be writing for months before I got this far I know this seems stupid as there are barley any compared to other people but I thought I was just a drop in a sea of more interesting blogs it seemed absurd any one would pay attention to me. Yet here we are. to day I’m going to talk about my coordination and therefore lack of it

Lets talk about my coordination for a moment non existent reader and moment over because I don’t have any . Co ordination is one of the physical attributes of autisim people don’t often see or think about .Personally its probably the thing I struggle with most being female and autistic means I’m perfectly fine at doing most tasks  people ask me to do and save my explosive tantrums for home but my bad co ordination is something I cant train my self out of .I often do stupid little things like getting lipstick on my nose or  poking myself in the eye whilst trying to get a stray piece of hair into my ponytail. However it does more than that its very frustrating sometimes I find my self crying tears of frustration because I have a perfect image of what some thing should look like in my head but when I attempt to do it my coordination simply won’t allow me to it was the reason I could ride a bike until 9 and still cant swim except for some deranged doggy paddle .

Yet some how I have perfect balance and good control when it comes to these sort of things  which just makes it all the more obnoxious. I want to learn music but I cant play the most basic tune I, want to do plays at a local theatre with some of my mates but I know my choreography will be off ,I can draw but no one will believe me because it takes me days to refine a sketch enough for it to even be worth being called good and sometimes it just gets on my nerves that’s why I like writing and reading it gives me an outlet a place of escape where all that exists are me and the words co existing and for a while I’m not me any more and  all my problems are forgotten but even then I’m too afraid to show my work to any one and when I look dawn and see it in my scrawly ( some one please get me a dictionary I’m using fake words again.)handwriting it ruins the illusion.

thank you once again oh so non existent readers I’ve been having a bit of writers block and wrote 3 different things today before deciding this one would be good enough I hope you enjoyed it -Rose x

 

 

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