My mum and I think my brother is autistic and she asked me  do you think we should tell your brother about Santa. Some people  say you shouldn’t tell this to autistic children as they will never figure out he doesn’t exist on their own – because I with a HIGH FUNCTIONING disorder so cant figure out that  a morbidly obese man cant fit down a chimney to deliver me presents and eat my food-so take that as what you will they also worry that the concept of Santa could scare them which I can relate to that but I got over it eventually …. anyway it was then it occurred to me our holidays are frickin weird so here are some holidays in the eye of a autistic person.

New Years

The fire works are pretty but not as good as  bonfire night  my sleep deprivation is now allowed however for the most part its an excuse for adults to get drunk and have parties and I will now be using the wrong year on all my dates for months which is frustrating .I would give new year 4 mediocre fireworks out of 10

valentines day

love no thanks I prefer cats pizza and Netflix however I will take discount chocolate and I will have fun taking the mic out of  all the people that are upset they don’t have a boyfriend for valentines day im over here just like chill out your 12. However valentines day is my cats birthday and my cat is adorable so 11 happy kitties out of ten because how could I give my cats birthday a bad rep.


we go to church I get to chill out with my friends there .Roast dinners are always welcome .However my question is what the hell to giant pink bunnies have to do with chocolate eggs why do they deliver the eggs wouldn’t it make more sense to have an Easter chicken or even an Easter lizard .I would like an Easter lizard  that sounds cool I have a lizard can she be an Easter lizard  I like lizards I want an Easter lizard. Also how do we go from death of Christ to giant bunnies and chocolate (not complaining please don’t take my chocolate ) Anyways I never believed in the Easter bunny as a kid we never really did that we just got me eggs and all was good in life so I give Easter 6 Easter lizards out of 10


I am not Hindi or Sikh so I cant speak on the holiday as a whole but lots of people in my community are and I can see the fireworks from my room and  they are so beautiful  ive never seen ones so vibrant they’re so bright and uggghhh I just love the pretty fire balls .My nan lives in a community were every one celebrates  it and sometimes my nans neighbours give her food it is the best food ever. I give Diwali 10  pots of delicious food out of 10


Its the best its the best its the best .Morbid humour check .Crafts check . Being a five year old check . Free food check. What else do you need in life . I am a massive Tim burton fan the nightmare before Christmas is my favourite Christmas movie that says a lot . It is finally socially acceptable for  me to scream the Adams family theme tune quote hocus pocus and play songs from the corpse bride and I get to watch Coraline on repeat on no one gets to judge me. I also so love making costumes when I was young we didn’t have much money so I made my costumes even now we can pay I refuse to buy a premade costume I still have to do my make up or make certain things or hunt the internet for it  and that’s all part of the fun. Its one of the only nights when my and my child hood friends are just as close as we used to be and its the best thing ever im  going to give Halloween 30000  fabulous Tim burton songs out of 10.


Christmas is overrated I love it but does everyone need to have ads on the tv 3 months before hand no . I love watching Christmas movies  spending time with family  and opening presents  as much as the next person but its just not as fun. Then there’s Santa as a kid when my mum first told me I cried I didn’t want Santa to break into my house I didn’t want his reindeers to land on my roof and I certainly did not  want him touching my presents. So my mum got me a Santa key and left it on the door step because our house doesn’t have a chimney so it scared me that he could get in, at first my mum said he shrunk him self with Santa magic that didn’t go down well thus we made the Santa key .And what’s with elves on the shelves those things are Hella creepy telling Santa what I do its the equivalent of the annoying kid in year two that was like  I’m telling of of you  if I had one of those things it would end up with tape reading snitches get stiches across its eyes. Who even decides  that Christmas is going to be about a morbidly obese man in a red suit with mini slaves  who flies a sleigh  lead by a diseased reindeer .Like who in there right mind comes up with this ?Rants about morbidly obese men aside I give Christmas 6 miniature slaves out of 10.

I’m so sorry I’ve been gone school was crazy and my social life exploded I feel like im suddenly the leader of my friends group I’m not sure I like it I like being the centre of attention and I have a dominant personality but I still prefer to follow others bit of a cognitive dissonance that added to homework meant I’ve been busy ,busy, busy  I should actually get back  to writing posts for you my lovely non existent readers anyways I should probably go socialise with my family that’s just  gotten here  seya -Rose X



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