If you haven’t read the last two parts please do .This part is probably going to be the funniest par t before next time which goes into the emotional carnege…excellent.I’m going to try to make the opening short this time as we embark on my tale of rejection.
Our plan is set out path is clear our squad is assembled via WhatsApp video call we are ready. Sandras at mine were sitting outside even though it’s mid October and to cope with my nerves were listening to music and I’m chugging cold water like there’s no tommorow. I stall for thirty minutes before weakly typing into our chat and I wait …and I wait …. and I wait. Me and my friends go through every possible scenario while we wait 1 .He could be busy 2maybe his phones dead people’s phones die right? right ? 3 He knows, he has mother effing superpowers he knows and he is going to let me know that he knows and then it’ll be awkward because I don’t know how he knows but he knows and yes that’s not going to happen but seriously guys .WHAT.IF.HE KNOWS. To add to the suspense I will now read the note to you (well it’s been altered in case he some how finds this ) and add in as many useless details as possible so you can feel the pain I felt ,slough I suppose it’s not particularly painful for you but we just don’t adress that problem. Anyway here is loosely what it said this is going to be awkward but here we go I’ve liked you for ages.I used to think you liked me back but now I know that’s not true. I didn’t know if I’d ever do this I’m sorry I could never do this to your face .Please don’t tell I know you probably will regardless .I didn’t do this sooner coz Georgia.let’s still be friend screw this I’m out .
It’s around the two hour mark and I start stemming like crazy I’ve shaked my had and tapped my foot so many times they feel like separate entities to my body I have my self pins and needles and slapped my desk to regain feeling to my hands I am a ball of nervous energy . At four hours I loose it i text him “I need to ask you something”.When I receive no reply for thirty minutes my friends start counting down and peer pressure happens without thinking of what happens if he picks up I call him beep beep ——- the phone is put down . In an instance I feel the world fall down around me I know that sounds so dramatic and most of you are shaking your heads and putting whispering cliche teenager dissaprovingly under your breaths but in that moment . I felt it . it’s like when you get caught doing something as a little kid ,or when someone repeats something you said that they weren’t meant to hear , or a phone call late at night and you know nothing good can come of it.The wait for him to respond was a rollercoaster and I had reached the top. I cry to my friends other face time it didn’t look good he could surely assume what was coming and as soon as he saw it it would get around.They try to convince me his phone was dead but that doesn’t explain the initial beeps .
I am defeated the rest of my friends have long since left as the hours are growing later.Early for Was and just as I’m ready to go to bed or more accurately sit and watch particle fall for 8hours ,because how do you sleep after that?I go through all my messages one more time .. He has responded .Our conversations goes roughly as follows
Rose:I need to ask you something
Rose:swear you won’t tell
Him:what is it
Rose: *insert more I’ve spent the note five hours obsessing over here *
Rose :It think I already know the answer
Him: And that is
Him:I don’t know what to say
Rose :I don’t think I would
Him:it’s not too surprising but still(side track what in the actual hell does it’s not too surprising mean dose he think his some kind of atractivness God or am I really that obvious )
Rose:yeah it did come out of the blue
Him: ya think
Me:Just don’t tell anyone okay even if you say no I wont be hurt won’t
Him:I am a lost voice
well go over the answer in the next part .I also told Georgia but that also takes a long time and for what was meant to be two parts may soon become five .I understand most of you are older than me because for some reason there isn’t exactly an influx of teenagers reading aspergers blogs on WordPress so this is probably teenage nonsense to you so if you enjoy me writing about this please leave a comment so I know that I’m not boring all of you lovely non existent readers also let me know if there is anything you want to hear my view on because I have some ideas but it would be great to know what you actually find interesting I’m going to go because it’s getting later and later see you in my next instalment of this train wreck -Rose X